Life's Work....

 I have been meaning to do this for years, but I was always working. I am going to list all the jobs/personal growth matters, and training that got me here today....just to name a few

1.     4, 5, 6, 7 yrs old Dance Lessons, nothing too fancy but my mom always clapped with other parents. (Validation of life officially begun? (Was it the tutu?).

2.    5 yrs-old I was chosen to be a flower girl in the St. Joseph's May Celebration. I felt pretty, I got a new turquoise dress. My mother and father sat at the card table with me for a second...they fought the entire time. I already had a very sick stomach because my dad didn't come home the night before. My May Celebration was ruined, I threw-up.

3.   10 yrs, I went door to door and sold color-made-to-order pot-holders, you know the ones. $0.5 cents each.

4.   12 y/o I was a brownie and a Girl Scout for several years...without which I would not know much about creating by sewing, experiments, hiking, camping for 2 wks - 2 summers.

5.    My mother joined me up/into the Junior Women's Club.....I golfed. The first three holes were hot and terrible. I got a 78 by 3 holes. I walked off and back to the closed shack. I wandered on to 3 steps to the square cement fenced bandstand to wait for my mother. I was pretending something silly like an old dance I suppose, and here came a dirty man...up the three steps to me. There was nobody else around. I didn't like the looks of him, he had a long coat on and it was really hot outside; I knew even at 8 years old to duck under the ropes that lined the cement square and I ran behind the shack where I hid and waited... No more golf for me. Both parents continued to play golf. Within 6  years, my dad lost our home to a gambling debt. There was a room in the basement of the big nice golf course, a big room with a bar. It was called the Men's Room. Tables everywhere, they were gambling for sure. Kids could go only to the entrance of this noisy but scary room. Dad always said yes for soda for my brother and me. We just hung out for about 5-6 hrs (empty except for bartender and the appropriately 50 men, in the Men'sRoom). The course let us roll golf balls around on the practice putting green in the front of the main building. This was a Church to Sunday routine.

Dad got his first, second or was it more?idea for making money. He moved out, I was 11. However, he controlled all angles of my household for my life thereafter. He dropped by some nights. It was awful. He was awful. He left 3 more baby girls for my mother to not raise. So I became their best chance. I was 6 for the first sister, 9 for the next, 12 for the last sweet blessing and responsibility. My only brother was 1 year older than myself. He did not help. My mother always drank too much. She didn't say much ever. I was lonesome so I began working as soon as I was able. 12. I worked for him, dad, holidays, etc, invoices, envelopes, filing, phone..etc. He left me there often by myself...he played golf at the country club 3-5 days a week. I also learned how to lock up and clean my home, and dads small office. 

(to be continued..often)